Help and Hope in Unwelcomed Silence – Br. Curtis Almquist
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Br. Curtis Almquist
The psalm appointed for today, Psalm 62, includes the phrase: “For God alone my soul in silence waits”; however another translation of this text is: “Before God, I am silence.” Not, “I am silent”; but rather, “Before God, I am silence.” And therefore, when God speaks, I am silence: I am an empty, open vessel to receive. Our life’s invitation is to learn to “be silence” so we have space to receive the work and words of God. It is a good thing to cultivate stillness and silence within ourselves.
But for many people, life seems to lose its cultivation because of suffering. We witness, and we may personally experience, tremendous suffering, loss, fear, grief, despair that may simply leave us or others speechless and empty, feeling very much alone and abjectly vulnerable. This is the silence that visits the elderly who have lost their health, lost their companions, lost their meaning in life; the silence of those who are very sick with no help at hand and the silence of those who are very sick with help at hand; the silence of those who are imprisoned because of prejudice and racism, and those imprisoned behind bars; the silence of those who live with inexpressible shame. So many people experience a silence that is unbidden and which may seem to them so vapid, despairing, orphaning.
This is where we turn this psalm inside-out. This is where we take the psalmist’s counsel to “be silence” not just as prescriptive but also as descriptive. When we find ourselves silenced, when we have lost our voice or our ability to hear, when any movement we might take in life is being held captive, at those times we cling to hope. When we are in an intractable, unavoidable, unchosen state of silence and stillness, to cling to the hope that we are in a state well known to God.[i] This is familiar territory to God, where our emptiness is actually openness to God, especially when we have no other choice. This is when we are in a place of hearing and knowing God.
[i] “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).
So simple but yet says it all. Thank you!!!!
This reflection on silence as both invitation and suffering really moved me. The idea that even our emptiness and speechlessness can become openness before God offers such deep comfort and hope. Thank you for this gentle and profound reminder.
Amen Br Curtis. I have been incapacitated and immobilized by this very state you describe. On and off for a few years now and, much like Sybil, I am learning to navigate these periods. Without self judgement and lots of kindness, compassion and gratitude…knowing that God is at work in me.
Elizabeth, your phrase “without self judgment” touched my soul. I am struggling with accepting the reality of being almost 83 and I fall into self judgment. May the Lord relieve your pain and continue to fill your heart.
Thank you so much Rick and may our Lord do the same for you.🙏
I have been struggling with a very debilitating illness for over a year now. It came on with almost no warning and I still am trying to find the ‘right’ way to get through it. At first I thought God had completely deserted me or was punishing me somehow. However, I am beginning to see that He is guiding me through this instead of magically removing the cause (s) of my misery. He is becoming a fellow traveller and I am learning to “Hear and Obey “!
What stopped me in my reading – early on was:
“Before God I am silence.” I stopped reading for awhile just to think of all the beautiful possibilities of that sentence.
Yes! Definitely YES! And from that silence can erupt a creeping joy.
I cherish the compassion and the wisdom of your thoughts as expressed here, Br. Curtis. And am remembering someone’s aperçu to the effect that God’s “original language” is silence.
And yes, God can even speak divine love through unsought-for, unwelcomed silence.
Again & again I appreciate your message of hope in times of despair or uncertainty or ordinary time.
I used to be afraid of silence. ♥️🙏