St. Ignatius of Loyola: A Life of Surrender

The paschal mystery – the mystery of our dying to self and rising to newness of life in Christ – reveals itself over and over again in the life of Ignatius of Loyola. Repeatedly, we see him letting go of selfish desires, turning away from sinful habits, and embracing the new life Christ was offering him.

Ignatius begins his autobiography by admitting that as a young man he was “given over to the vanities of the world” and primarily concerned with “a great and foolish desire to win fame.” He was known as something of a ladies’ man and, according to some, a real hothead.[1] He was a fighting man, very contentious, addicted to gambling and exceedingly vain.

At the age of 30, he was wounded in a battle against the French at Pamplona. The wound was severe and required a lengthy convalescence. During this period of relative isolation, Ignatius had access to two books, a life of Christ and a book about the lives of the saints. These books inspired in him a new vision of himself as a follower of Christ. He continued to fantasize about winning the affection of “a certain noble lady” and acquiring fame and glory, but now a second vision emerged: he began to wonder if he could heroically serve God and become a saint. He found that the earlier fantasy left him restless and unsatisfied, while the second vision led to contentment and peace.

This was the first step in Ignatius’ conversion: letting go of his desire for romance and fame to become a servant of God.

Following this conversion, he set off for Jerusalem, but his dream of living there never came to fruition. He stopped at a town called Manresa, along the River Cardoner, and though he intended to stay only a couple of days, he spent ten months there, living in a cave. He spent hours in prayer each day, and took on extreme penances, especially fasting, and neglected his physical appearance, hoping to outdo the achievements of the saints of whom he had read. He had not yet learned the importance of moderation and the qualities of true spirituality.

The second step in Ignatius’ conversion was to leave behind these extreme penances (which were prompted by his own ego and pride) and to discover instead God’s presence in all things.

Gradually he gathered around himself a group of companions. He developed a series of spiritual exercises which he gave to these companions and eventually they decided to become a religious order, the “Society of Jesus” or the “Jesuits.” The companions agreed to submit to the leadership of a Superior General, and Ignatius was elected. He begged them to reconsider their vote, but a few days later, he was elected again, unanimously except for his own vote. He then submitted to what he saw as the will of God and became their leader. He sacrificed what he wanted to embrace what God wanted.